True Account of a College Acceptance
Dear Applicant, Congratulations! We are excited to inform you that you have been accepted into Star College. We’re looking forward to you joining our community of sleepwalkers, math nuts, bio…
Satire
A Homecoming Ask How-To
With homecoming week right around the corner, your head is likely swamped with questions about the upcoming week. Am I going to the dance? (Yes, you should.) What am I…
The Teacher Conspiracy
AURORA, IL – A new, undercover study has revealed that IMSA’s teachers are plotting against their students. Recently, our reporters contacted the Acronym’s unassociated adult liaison, Mr. Spy, in order…
Editors Expecting Particularly Good Article This Week
AURORA, IL – Chandana Tetali & Lauralyn Lin are expecting a particularly good article this week. This is the latest development in a long-running feud in which the two have…
A Mysterious Cult Gathering of the English Department
AURORA, IL – This past Wednesday, the entire IMSA English department was seen huddled around the new glass doors of the AC Pit at approximately 12:43 PM. A frightened student…
Second Semester Senior Pleads Guilty to Trying Too Hard
AURORA, IL – As she stood before a jam-packed Aurora courthouse last Tuesday, senior IMSA student Gretchen Wiener stood strong as the Senior Council read a litany of charges against…