{"id":20849,"date":"2018-02-14T10:15:27","date_gmt":"2018-02-14T16:15:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites.imsa.edu\/acronym\/?p=20849"},"modified":"2018-02-14T15:40:01","modified_gmt":"2018-02-14T21:40:01","slug":"how-to-be-miserable-on-valentines-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sites.imsa.edu\/acronym\/2018\/02\/14\/how-to-be-miserable-on-valentines-day\/","title":{"rendered":"How to be Miserable on Valentine’s Day"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ah, Valentine\u2019s Day. A day of love shared with that special someone, a day to celebrate your romantic success \u2013<\/p>\n

Wait, success?<\/p>\n

Well, of course, there are <\/em>people who are celebrating their romantic success. Though you\u2019re still not convinced that those people aren\u2019t androids, placed here by the universe specifically to make you miserable.<\/p>\n

On that note, if you\u2019re already going to be miserable on Valentine\u2019s Day, why not go big?<\/p>\n

Presenting “The Single Person\u2019s Five Step Guide to Being Miserable on Valentine\u2019s Day”:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Wake up late.<\/strong> Don\u2019t wake yourself up with a refreshing shower or a light and healthy breakfast, but instead groan and moan in bed before stumbling up and stuffing a donut in your face.<\/li>\n
  2. Consume romantic media.<\/strong> Watch your favorite movies about romance and love. Watch your favorite YouTube couple. Read your favorite romance novel. Forget about uplifting stories about people who don\u2019t happen to have significant others. Consume only the media that convinces you that true love is the only way you\u2019ll ever be complete.<\/li>\n
  3. Stay alone in your room.<\/strong> Don\u2019t go out on a refreshing walk in the brisk February air. Don\u2019t call up your friends to see if they\u2019re free \u2013 definitely<\/em> don\u2019t call them up if they\u2019re single. You don\u2019t want to spend all your time around someone who\u2019s miserable.<\/li>\n
  4. Don\u2019t take this time to get ahead on your homework – <\/strong>or start that long-awaited personal project. Instead, cry in your room while you stuff your face with that junk food that you\u2019re not even sure you actually like. Why be productive when you could be sad?<\/li>\n
  5. Feel sorry for yourself.<\/strong> Don\u2019t call up your favorite relative and tell them how you love them. Don\u2019t take time to appreciate what you do have. Focus on what you don\u2019t have and all the ways you\u2019ve failed in life. Forget about your accomplishments.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    And remember \u2013 if you\u2019re single and sad about it, there\u2019s nothing you can do except cry about your circumstances. Self-improvement? You\u2019re pretty sure I just made that word up.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Ah, Valentine\u2019s Day. A day of love shared with that special someone, a day to celebrate your romantic success \u2013 Wait, success? Well, of course,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":373,"featured_media":20850,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2490,2621],"tags":[2209],"coauthors":[2748],"class_list":["post-20849","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","category-humor-satire","tag-valentines-day"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.imsa.edu\/acronym\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20849","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.imsa.edu\/acronym\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.imsa.edu\/acronym\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.imsa.edu\/acronym\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/373"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.imsa.edu\/acronym\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20849"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/sites.imsa.edu\/acronym\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20849\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20916,"href":"https:\/\/sites.imsa.edu\/acronym\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20849\/revisions\/20916"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.imsa.edu\/acronym\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20850"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.imsa.edu\/acronym\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20849"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.imsa.edu\/acronym\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20849"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.imsa.edu\/acronym\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20849"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.imsa.edu\/acronym\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=20849"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}