Ask Acronym: Relationships, Desire, and Twerking

The following advice was written by Acronym’s advice columnists.

1. This guy keeps coming onto [sic] me. I think he wants to interviz but I’m not sure about it. Advice?

You’ve just gotta be honest with him. I think one thing guys are really bad at is taking hints. If you don’t want to interviz, just tell him no. If he still doesn’t get the hint, write “NO” on a giant sign and tape it to your door. It’s better for both of you that he knows the kind of relationship you’re looking for instead of constantly making up excuses for not hanging out.

2. How do you twerk?

This one might have been better left to Google. If I were to describe this process, I would probably sound like I’m describing a meat tenderization process.

I suppose in some ways, that’s what twerking is.

Anyway, just watch this video if you want to learn.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgoyVRO0A0E

3. What should be my greatest focus in life right now?

That’s a pretty heavy question. I think that any high school student’s focus in life right now should be getting to know his/herself.  Try new things, have new experiences, and figure out what is best for you. Try starting with a new soda combination in Sodexo. Finding a Zen focus in carbonated beverages is, honestly, the meaning of life. The rest will come easy after that.

4. My boyfriend broke up with me and won’t speak to me! Help.

I’m so sorry! I don’t have much experience in this field, but I personally think that if your boyfriend broke up with you and refuses to speak to you, you might want to give it some time. Teenagers are emotional, and it’s good to give yourself and your boyfriend time to cool down before letting your emotions cause you to make rash decisions. Give it some time, and if he still won’t speak to you, it might be time to move on.

5. Holy crap! My life is falling apart and I’m failing two classes.

Wow I honestly need your answer to this question because I’m in the same boat! First, know that your grades aren’t the defining factor of success, but they still are quite important. Focus on finding help from friends and swallow your pride enough to ask for help when you need it. You might also want to reprioritize your activities and make sure that what’s most important gets the most time. Lastly, this problem is a very personal one that requires a prescriptive solution, and if you want to talk to me more I would be happy to help. Email me at acronymadvicecolumn@gmail.com

6. How do I initiate conversation with a girl I rarely talk to?

It’s easy! Use your mouth and speak in a language that you both know (ideally). Girls aren’t as intimidating as they may seem. Talk to a girl the way you would talk to anyone else— just say hey! If you’re feeling too nervous to talk to her in person, then start with a Facebook message or a text. Honestly, girls like it when you initiate conversation. They don’t think you’re weird or a stalker or anything if you just try to talk to them… unless you’re literally stalking them. Try to find something in common, ask about a class, or just start with small talk. Walk up to her if you see her around and just ask what she’s up to, what class she has next, what she’s working on, etc. I guarantee the conversation will progress if you’re polite and show interest in what she has to say.

In fact, take baby steps if you need to. Just nod at her or say hi in the hallways, and then eventually start trying to hold legitimate conversations. I don’t know if the girl you want to talk to is someone you’re interested in or just want to be friends with, but it doesn’t matter. Just say hi—she won’t judge you. Probably.

Also, if you both have a mutual friend, use that friend! A mutual friend between you two can really help you get to know her better and give you tons of more opportunities to talk to her, and I think starting off talking in a group can help you both be more comfortable talking to each other regularly.

Don’t worry, just show some interest and the conversation will come naturally.

7. What do you do when you can’t fall out of love?

I think the best thing you can do is find a new hobby or a new relationship in your life or something to remind yourself that not being in a relationship with this person isn’t the end of the world.  There’s really no clear answer to this sort of problem but I hope you can figure out what’s best for you.

If that doesn’t work, you might want to write sad poetry? Heliotrope is always looking for submissions!