From Matt Damon’s Diary: “On Women”

A little girl is standing between the legs of a man. Only their legs and feet are shown. Photo from Pixabay.

Dear Matt,

There are two types of women. I will differentiate between the two using the labels “Woman 1” and “Woman 2.”

Woman 1 is tricky. She is often straightforward, determined, enthusiastic—a real force. You will enjoy her presence. You will talk about her in media. You will praise her as a colleague and an actress. You will be impressed with her career, and you will know she is lucky to be where she is. But do not forget that she can be manipulative and ungrateful. She may expect respect from her boss, and personal space. Be certain to remind her not to demand too much. Make sure to quiet her when she starts to speak out, too. Especially as it pertains to certain powerful men in certain powerful companies. Especially where it may jeopardize your career. Above all, do not let her trick you into prioritizing her safety above your boss’ career.

Woman 2 you will not learn about until later. She is only different from Woman 1 in that you care about her. It will take a while to get to this point of empathy and basic human decency. Do not worry, though, even if it takes you half your life. When it happens you will be praised for your radical opinion on women. The catalyst, of course, will be the birth of your daughter. She will be surprisingly alive and human, and you will realize that she may deserve respect. It will be an eye-opening experience, and it will challenge everything you ever believed about the female. You will look into your daughter’s eyes and think, “Huh. Women can be people.” There will be the distant sound of applause and a single tear will roll down your face. What a beautiful father you are. What a kind man. You are a hero. Be proud of this.

Best,

Matt

About the Author

Julia Simmons
Julia is a senior who likes her dogs, pretending to be productive, and, occasionally, her quad.

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