Humor

How to Beat the Blank White Screen

Lately, I’ve started refusing to open my laptop. Because when I do, it’s there. Waiting. Growling. Hissing. For any writer, the Blank White Screen is…


The Sodexo Milk Conspiracy

This is not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill. After years of dispensing milk out of machines, Sodexo has instead switched to stocking…



The 7 Easy Steps of Sophomore Life

Wake up. Depending on what mods you have off, this may or may not be before noon. Reflect on your accomplishments and feel good about…


The A-Wing Mystery

Trapped inside these suspended, ceiling-less walls, I sense something malicious afoot. It’s 12:21 PM. Fifth mod has begun, cold and dim, because it’s always cold…


A Week in Problem Sets

Tuesday Afternoon You receive a problem set. You judge its length quickly, feeling disappointment. That disappointment lingers throughout the afternoon as you steadfastly ignore your…