Seniors Speak: Senior Rant and Thoughtful Chaos

In the ninth Seniors Speak entry, Corey Hornbeck and Mary Do provide us with rants/ramblings that are filled with laughs, lessons and a little bit of nostalgia.

Senior article? How about a senior rant?

By Corey Hornbeck, Illinois Institute of Technology, Class of 2017

I have to say, my time here at IMSA has been well-spent for the most part. Sure, there are times I’d like to redo, like my sophomore year getting caught for in-room by the almighty Troy Tonsil. For those of you who don’t know, he was a tall, intimidating, African-American RC who made little sophomores pee their pants—except for me of course—during 07’s Tuesday night dodge ball.

I’d also like to redo my junior year. Call me crazy, but I enjoyed those late nights doing homework for Modern Physics and Physiology and Disease. SIR on top of that made my junior year hectic, but I’d still like another shot at it. For you sophomores, enjoy your time here, and buckle up for the bumpy ride next year. Actually, I take that back; chain yourselves to the floor because this ride is like going 90 mph on a speed bump.

I have two words for you: don’t worry. Pace yourselves and find motivation to get you through the year. You’ll be successful regardless of where you’re going after graduation. For the juniors, good job surviving the year! You deserve a cookie! I want you to look back at your sophomore year and notice how much you’ve changed. Yeah, wait until next year. That nubby sophomore who didn’t know which navigation group to go to is going to become a care-free senior who is pro at everything relating to learning.

In my opinion, IMSA doesn’t necessarily get you into a top-level college. Sure, it can. The only guarantee is that most, if not all IMSA graduates, will succeed in their selected college. The problem is that the top schools don’t see that. We might slip up from time to time, but that doesn’t mean we’re not up for a challenge.

Anyways, I’m going to skip the big-brother advice and finish my little rant. I never had a party-hard type of IMSA experience, and I’m glad I didn’t  It was more of a learning experience instead of a “baylife” moment for me. I learned how to conduct my own experiments, calculate integrals, and analyze scientific articles.

I even picked up some skills in the dorms, such as how to decorate my room and do my own laundry with a card. Now that I’m off to college, I don’t have to look forward to ten-check, in-room, or 1 o’clock internet shut-off.

Before I leave, however, there’s one last thing I’d like to do. During my sophomore year, the view from my window was something I’d see every day after classes. Now, I’d like to experience that nostalgic feeling as I look out that window, maybe sitting down to watch an ACC baseball game. Before any of you leave IMSA, visit your sophomore room and look out the window. Trust me. It’ll feel like you’re traveling back two years, looking through the eyes of your sophomore-self.


Thoughtful Chaos

By Mary Do, California Institute of Technology, Class of 2017

So originally I was going to write this article on the true meaning of YOLO (trust me – no one knows the true meaning of YOLO and senioritis better than a second semester senior). But then I thought that my last parting thoughts should be somewhat substantial. But then I thought my last good deed at IMSA should be to make people laugh. But then…I was like “I can’t do this. I’m gonna have to write about more than one thing if I’m gonna write at all. So…I’m gonna write about everything I feel like writing about.”

“YOLO and Senioritis”

So. YOLO. Like I said, no one (and I mean no one) knows how to YOLO better than a second semester senior. Therefore, as your humble second semester senior who only wished to share her infinite wisdom with her unknowing underclassmen, I will give you a list of things you need to do in order to YOLO (and be infected with senioritis):

  1. Pretend you’re Jen Ren. Write your MCB paper five hours before it’s due. Get a B+/A-. Write your history paper three hours before it’s due. Get A. Write English paper an hour before it’s due. Get A+.
  2. Read Campbell and Reece. Cover to cover. Honestly. You only live once, right? I don’t know. If I am going to live only once, I would read this book – it is only the best freakin’ bio textbook ever written in the history of mankind. Okay, fine, this really doesn’t help you with your YOLO/early-senioritis goal plan, but it’s fun, okay?
  3. Break in-room and pull illegal sleepovers at least once a week. Or two. Or three. Or 4+. You might find your future roommate(s) this way.
  4. Find excuses not to do homework (or coerce, I mean pay, a sophomore to do it for you – not recommended unless you’re a second semester senior when your grades don’t matter). Play tetris – it, um, helps your geometry skills. Um, play Sims 3 – it, uh, uh, helps you, uh, with real life issues like, um, er…having children…Yeah…
  5. Pull all-nighters. Sleep in class. Make sure teacher does not notice you. It’s rude. Grow fangs and sparkle while you’re at it.

Anyway, there you go. A shortened list of things to do in order to YOLO.


Honestly, I don’t know where in the world people get the idea that they are entitled to more respect than what is granted to them as a human being. The way some people talk, you would think they thought themselves the King/Queen of England or something and expected you to bow to them for their godly superpowers or whatever they thought they had that you don’t. “Why, Your Great Pompousness, excuse your faithful servant for pointing this out to you, but your head is big enough to sink Australia.”

Respect is earned. No one is entitled to it.

Anyway, if you find yourself offended by this comment, okay. If you are offended and send me hate mail, I don’t care. If you are offended, send me hate mail, and spread nasty rumors about me, guess what? I’m a second semester senior with less than two weeks of school under my belt. YOLO. Plz. I dare you to tell me I’m wrong.


Dear IMSA students,

We understand that your grades determine your worth in life. It’s a well-known fact that a person with a perfect GPA would get into Harvard, MIT, and Yale, and a person with anything less perfect would get rejected – even from UIUC. Therefore, here are a few tips for better grades, a better future, and a better death:

  1. Pull all-nighters. Every night. Make sure you NEVER sleep. You’ll die in three days. Quite an honorable death – all in the name of IMSA.
  2. Don’t eat. At all. You’ll die within three weeks – enough for the last sprint to raise those borderline grades. Still an honorable death.

At the cost of numerous burnouts, mood swings, possible death, and depression, you can get into an Ivy League school. Once you get into Yale or Harvard, you will retain half of your brain cells. You will be the leaders of the future. Congratulations! You can’t have success without being masochistic.


Your Humble Senior

“Friendship, Loyalty, Etc.”

Life is harsh; the road is rough.

If the cold assails you,

I would be your warmth.

If the winds assault you,

I would be your shelter.

No matter how narrow the path you walk,

I won’t be far away,

So when you call my name,

I will come – I’m always there.

Even if the world turns against you,

I will follow and be your support,

The last person to leave you.

Even if you hate me,

I would hold you in my heart.

Only death can prevent me

From working towards your happiness.

But even in heaven or hell,

My thoughts would be of you.

[Photo/Graphic Credit: Joe Reda]

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