Satire



Titans Stretch Their Cognitive Muscles

NAPERVILLE, IL – At a recent gathering with friends from their hometown, several IMSA students couldn’t help but brag about the “real world curriculum” and “naturally inquisitive environment” that had…


5 Easy Steps to Graduate IMSA with a 5.0

It’s one of the most commonly asked questions: “How do I survive IMSA with good grades?” After extensive research and interviews, I have compiled a quick and easy tutorial on…


IMSA Students Torch Neighboring School

AURORA, IL- Following their cross-country victory on Thursday, IMSA athletes gathered to participate in a long-standing Titan tradition: setting fire to Aurora Central Catholic (ACC).  Attendance at this Thursday’s celebration…


Rauner Wants You to Stay

SPRINGFIELD, IL – Responding to criticism that the JCC Bubble Tea Cart didn’t complete its scheduled run on Thursday, Governor Rauner decided to take matters into his own hands, channeling…