Satire

IMSA Students Seek Food Alternatives

The number of unique visitors at Sodexo is at a 5-year low, according to a study published by the Illinois Malnutrition and Sleep Deprivation Association on Friday. The survey, which…



The Beauty of a Stress Day

With clubs, sports, difficult classes, and research projects, IMSA students are sure to have high stress levels. Based on experience, the Academy has determined this level of stress is beneficial…


A Sincere Love Letter to Sleep

Dear Sleep, I know it’s been a long time since we’ve been able to spend  time together, and I apologize greatly. At first, I thought that our separation would be…


Clowns Are Terrorists

As clown attacks continue to plague America, people are becoming desperate to find a solution to this crisis. These red-nosed, grinning fiends have quickly become a controversial issue in today’s…


The Ultimate Learning Environment

When asked about her first few months at the Illinois Mathematics and Science Academy, sophomore Jane Doe enthusiastically praised the exclusive learning environment, one that “really can’t be found anywhere…