How to Give an Old Computer Some Personality

Ah, the noble laptop. IMSA students can always depend on their trusty machines to grind out that Revolutions essay they’ve been putting off for a week, study for a quiz they might have forgotten about, or plug all their physics equations into Desmos so they can finish a Quest assignment. (May or may not be based on author experience.) We use our laptops every day, yet we rarely think to give them much aesthetic beyond a few sitcom-related stickers or an odd screensaver. Well, I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be this way. Here are a few things you can do to give a laptop some real personality.

Go for the cracked screen aesthetic

Now, I know what you’re about to say. “Stephen, why would breaking my computer screen make it look any better? Are you insane?” I’ll have you know I’m only half-insane, thank you very much, and that cracking things often leads to great results. You crack an egg, you get an omelet. You crack a joke, the RC loses his train of thought and forgets to give you a Tier 1. You crack a computer screen, you get an aesthetic that just screams “personality!”

There are a few ways to achieve this look. The simplest way is just the ol’ drop and smash: push your computer off a high enough desk, and voila! Nice breakage every time. If you want something more precise, a hammer works great for those specific-area cracks. If you really want to go above and beyond, you could put your computer on the train tracks and get a nice break right down the middle. Sure, it may not function anymore, and BNSF may be suing you for $50,000, but you’ll have the most unique laptop on campus! I’d say that’s worth it.

A little paint goes a long way

I love laptop stickers as much as the next IMSA student, but you can only get so far with them. Why not use your bland computer as the canvas for a magnificent masterpiece? You can go for all kinds of looks, too. Feeling fancy today? Give your laptop an ornate rococo look complete with fine patterns and cherubs. If you’re a bit rebellious, you could also achieve that Banksy aesthetic with a few cans of spray paint. If you’re the kind of person who likes to chill out and listen to lo-fi as you sip your herbal tea, an impressionist Monet painting would add even more to your relaxation.

A unique keyboard can make all the difference

Sure, you could just go with a normal keyboard for your computer, but where’s the fun in that? For starters, you could try this POP keyboard from Logitech complete with emoji keys. If you’re ready to move on to the big leagues, though, you could try a minimalist stenography keyboard to finally achieve that 200 wpm you’ve always wanted. What efficiency!

If that still isn’t enough for you, there is one more option. This massive 16-foot keyboard could be just what you’ve been looking for. Not only does this device stand out in a crowd, it’s great for your exercise! You’ll get plenty of strength training dragging it around to your classes. Imagine the flexibility you’ll develop using ctrl-c! If that won’t give you an A in moving and learning, I don’t know what will!

Now that you know how it’s done, I hope you can give your computer some great personality. I look forward to seeing all the cracked screens, paint-soaked computers, and massive keyboards in the halls of IMSA knowing that I’ve helped IMSA students achieve computer decoration self-actualization.