True Account of 04ADQ and Friends’ Night of (Frozen) Terror
11/25 – 6:00 PM Sohil and I were coming back from our extended breaks on the downstate bus when we noticed a sudden shift in…
Satire
True Account of a College Acceptance
Dear Applicant, Congratulations! We are excited to inform you that you have been accepted into Star College. We’re looking forward to you joining our community…
A Homecoming Ask How-To
With homecoming week right around the corner, your head is likely swamped with questions about the upcoming week. Am I going to the dance? (Yes,…
The Teacher Conspiracy
AURORA, IL – A new, undercover study has revealed that IMSA’s teachers are plotting against their students. Recently, our reporters contacted the Acronym’s unassociated adult…
Editors Expecting Particularly Good Article This Week
AURORA, IL – Chandana Tetali & Lauralyn Lin are expecting a particularly good article this week. This is the latest development in a long-running feud…
A Mysterious Cult Gathering of the English Department
AURORA, IL – This past Wednesday, the entire IMSA English department was seen huddled around the new glass doors of the AC Pit at approximately…